Level Orange

That pretty much sums up my situation nowadays. According to two doctors now, the likelihood that I had a genuine, for-real heart attack is minimal. There are no real signs or indication of any past trauma to my heart…which is good news. Maybe over the last five years, I’ve recovered enough to appear completely healthy, or maybe nothing ever happened in the first place.

Now comes the part where I have to ask just what did happen? Sure, the odds of me having a heart attack at the age of twenty-two are almost unheard of, but I know what I felt, and ’twas no indigestion. Of course, this is also the part where I don’t get any sort of definite answer. Time has impaired judgement and any sort of measure. All these new doctors can go on is the present. There’s medical records and data, but like anything else, that’s all open to interpretation. At the time, I was able to discuss my situation with the doctor and I was being monitored constantly. The only thing that remains from that five-year-old equation is me, and frankly, time has impaired my judgement and recollection as well. Maybe with a different set of doctors, in a different hospital, under different circumstances, I might not have been diagnosed with such a serious ailment, but we’ll never know.

Perhaps it’s my fault for misjudging my own condition and acting too hastily, but I had to seek help. The pain was just overwhelming, and unlike anything I had ever felt before. I had no explanation for it. My only solution was to find someone who might. My experience with heart attacks was nil, so that was my first thought, and perhaps the doctor at the time picked up on that. Maybe that carried through to his diagnosis and treatment. I just don’t know.

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